Remember Remember the 5th of November

Yep you've all heard the rhyme, a way to remember bonfire night. 
I don't need no rhyme.
This date is imbedded into my head, quite literally
This night brings joy to most, a chance to go to a local bonfire and watch pretty firework displays and go "ooo" and "aaaah" and eat candy floss and write your name with sparklers in the air and lob rock-hard toffee apples at peoples heads ...
Yes, you read correctly. 
Each year around this date I get a headache, (i'm being dramatic but I genuinely had a headache all week last week over this date and as I write this I'm convincing myself its because of The Incident) because of something that happened many moons ago on bonfire night. 
I was never a fan of fireworks from a young age, would always cry & scream and have to go sit in the car (still crying & screaming) or watch from our house and watch the display indoors where I was safe. I should have continued with that tradition, I should never been stepped outside on that cold November evening all those years ago. 
I blame Bex, purely because she finds 'The Incident' so amusing I'm going to blame her for leading me outside and convincing me to come to watch the fireworks with everyone else at Eirias Parc.
At that age you don't want to be the weird unsociable kid whose afraid of fireworks so I forced myself to go and brave the crowds, and loud bangs. 

What happened next will forever haunt and cause me pain around this time of year. 
We approached our group, all smiles and excitement ready to watch the fireworks.
Oh how naive I was. 
One step onto the grass to our group of friends and 
Im down, im hurt, my head feels like its exploded, what was that? A firework? I've been shot, why has no one called an ambulance, where are the paramedics, I'm crying, I'm running, my head is sticky, Bex is laughing (bitch), my head it throbs, a catherine wheel maybe? Surely the ambulance will be here by now? Why is Bex still laughing, I'm still crying and running, my head has doubled in size from impact, its still sticky, I'm dying. 
I stop. 

I will name no names, but someone whom I will always have a vendetta against, launched with all his might
a. rock. hard. toffee. f'ing. apple. at. my. head.
The pain, you will never know the pain. 
I feel this was a personal attack, "lets attack the girl who's afraid of fireworks" and no one can convince me otherwise. 
For this very reason I avoid any sort of big crowd bonfire nights out (with the exception of the annual Williams bonfire party in Rhos as there are no toffee apples there) where there is a strong chance I could get attacked once more. 

This year however, my sister practically forced me out of the house against my will, said we'd watch from the car at a safe distance. 
Made me go outside ... OUTSIDE!!
In amongst the crowds at Eirias we were. 
We'd picked a spot, I was nervous, constantly checking round for rogue toffee apples in unruly hands. 
I spot one at 10 o'clock. 
A young boy, he looked like a bad child, probably could smell my fear. 
It was a tense 30 minutes (felt like hours) watching the fireworks, just waiting for that familiar smack to the head. 
But finally it was over, we left (burger first obv) & I survived the night.
This does not for one second mean I am going to be a regular-bonfire-night-goer. 
Its back to window-watching for me. 

So if you go away with anything from this traumatic tale, its this.
Toffee apples are the devil, they should not be allowed and they certainly should not be launched at vulnerable girls foreheads!!!!

If you have been affected by any of the topics in this blog and wish to seek guidance, tough shit. 
Im still suffering so you should too. 

♡ G
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