Etiquette Lessons in The Capitol

Day 22; Washington DC; 24th July


Jefferson Memorial
Early start today so we could cram in as much of DC as we could.
Me, Em, Colin & Maho were all ready for our ultimate tourist day! 
Ankle was sore but there was no way I was going to attempt to take that bloody crutch with me because I'd end up getting pissed off with it and throwing it at someone / a memorial. 

We had to be back at camp by 5pm so we left to get the bus at 8am.
We got the bus to the closest tube station before getting the tube close to the Jefferson Memorial. 
Everything was going well, we were making excellent progress.
We got off the tube and attempted to walk to the Tidal Basin.
A slight detour, we ended up doing a few circles and then found ourselves on a bit of concrete, walking between 2 lanes on a very busy highway!
HOW THE HELL DID WE END UP ON THIS??!!
Cars were going very fast and we needed to cross to get back to a normal road. 
We run across and who happens to be the only person who spots us ...
Homeland security.
LOL
He starts shouting at us asking why we were trying to commit suicide
"Sorrrrrrry, we got lost"
Ya think!

Back on track and we found the Tidal Basin so started walking round to the Jefferson Memorial. 
A helicopter flew over so we assumed the only person it could possibly be was Obama.

The Jefferson Memorial is so pretty!
Everything is.
& the weather was glorious so made everything look extra pretty.
Except the geese. 
 I don't like geese.
I had seen a video on You Tube a while ago of a dad telling his daughter to go and scare a goose, the goose then turns and starts flying and chasing her round the lake.
She's crying thinking she's about to die and her dad is in utter hysterics! 

So I was very apprehensive about walking past these geese.
I could imagine them chasing me and I'd end up jumping into the water as my only option to survive.
Colin then tells us there's apparently sharks in the water.
Bugger.

Scary geese!!
Obama in his helicopter flying over the Tidal Basin
We carried on walking round the basin, dodging geese left, right and centre and ended up where we were last night; at the MLK Memorial.
Everything looks so different in the day.
Still so beautiful but you get a totally different feel. 
Also in the day MLK kinda looks like its made out of polystyrene.
Just sayin. 

We went back round to the Korean War Memorial and it looked a lot less eerie in the day!
There were loads of engraved facts in the walls and floors of how many deaths there were from each country and some really moving quotes.

Colin, Maho & Me at MLK Memorial

Korean War Memorial
Back to see Abe the babe.
& up all those bastards stairs again.
We got our first 'victory selfie' inside.
We walked back down and tried to hunt for the gift shop.
Apparently it was back upstairs
Fumes.
Up we go again then.

The view is even better in the day.
I really do enjoy Washington DC!

Lincoln Memorial
Victory Selfie with Abe
Maho & Me 
We strolled down along the Reflecting Pool and stopped off at the WWII Memorial.
It was starting to get real hot and we were hungry so we decided to head to Obama's and then find somewhere for lunch.

Obama didn't answer so we just had to take more victory selfies outside.
We spotted a sniper on the roof!
Crazy!


WWII Memorial & Washington Monument
Victory Selfie outside The White House

Sniper on the roof!
We stopped at NY Cafe for lunch and me & Colin had the taco bowls.
They were delicious, however, we ate them completely wrong!
We ate all the filling out and then were just left with the dry taco shell bowl.
Oops.

I'd read somewhere before the trip of a gift shop that has an identical Oval Office in the shop where you can take pictures.
This was just round the corner from us so we obviously went in.
You had to spend over $10 to take the pictures,
ppft, easy. 
I bought a selection of great tshirts to add to my growing collection and some other bits and bobs that I obviously needed most definitely spent over $10.
There was only a couple of people infront of me in the queue for the pictures so I didn't have to wait long.

Ahhh sitting at that my desk felt great.
I felt important. I felt empowered.
I wanted to order people around and start a war.
But I had to move on and take pictures on the podium as my adoring fans, fellow countrymen and heads of state looked up at me ;)

Pleased with my pictures I left.
Colin clearly saw how great I looked so joined the now very long queue.
All done we walked round to the front (or back, still not sure which is which tbh) of The White House and took more pictures.





We still had a lot to see and were running out of time.
We decided to walk the length of the mall towards the Capitol Building and go from there.
Oh how we walked.
On and on, past the EPA building, past the Natural History Museum, Art museums,
and still we were no where near the Capitol.
Every few minutes,
"Are we there yet??" 

Eventually we found it!
Yeeeeeeey!

Oh look how beautiful it is ...
COVERED IN BLOODY SCAFOLDING!!!
Another victory selfie (it was actually a victory that we made it!) and we chose our next destination.

The Capitol Building

Maho asked if we could pop to see the Library, which was "just around the corner"
Suuuuure, if its just round there.
And then some.
It felt like days, walking in the heat, little water, no shade.
& still no bloody library.

We found ourselves at the back of the Capitol Building and opposite, was the library.
Hallelujah!
It was actually a really nice building, but for a building thats supposed to have the country / worlds largest collection of books, you weren't actually allowed to see many of them.

We found the library!!
Excuse me??


Running out of time we still hadn't been in any of the museums so we trekked back down the other side of the mall to find the Air & Space Museum.
I would love to know how many steps we walked that day because it was a damn sight more than 10,000!
We literally had 20 minutes inside the museum before we had to leave in time to get the tube and then the bus to make it back to camp for 5pm.
It had been a busy day, tourist day had taken its toll on Colin & Maho; they just couldn't stay awake on the tube or the bus.
It was quite funny to watch.
5pm on the dot we arrived back.
I was in desperate need of a drink and was dreaming of that cooler on the bus full of my ice cold ciders.
Was anyone else back on time / anywhere near being on time?
Of course not!
We could have stayed in the museum for another hour!
No sign of Kayla or Adrian either so there was no chance of opening the trailer to get to the cooler.
Our only option was making wine out of the grapes
#desperatetimes

We headed down to the pool to get an ice cream (mine was rank, typical) and to rest our broken feet.
We found Kayla and bit by bit people returned back to camp waaaaaay past 5pm.

Back to camp I dove into the cooler and started on the bevs. Its was our last night camping after all so we wanted to make a night of it.
Because it was the end of the trip we had to clean out allllll of the food bins and coolers and wash everything!
Those who were back made a start and got the majority of it done, but it was only fair to leave bits for those who decided not to come back on time ;)
Adrian was off to buy more drinks so we placed our orders and prepped for a good night!

We're sat around having a drink and we hear Alan cry out from in his tent
"Arrghhhh"

"Use some lube boys"
Literally the funniest thing Colin has ever said.
I was crying.


Sarah decided to Tinder-rape Colin and we found some pretty decent ladies for him;
latesha, shanaynay, spongebobisha etc
he didn't seem to appreciate the help though :p
By this point I'm pretty sure I was already smashed and we hadn't even had dinner yet.
So what do we decide to do ....
drink more!
The funniest game of flip cup was played.
Boys v Girls
Colin, Matt, Alan & Adrian vs Me, Kayla, Sarah & Em



If you aren't familiar with the game flip cup, let me enlighten you.
You have 2 teams, either side of a table.
You stand in a line in your teams facing someone else on the opposite side.
You each pour some drinks into your cups (this seemed to get less and less each round / some people were caught with nothing! Cheats).
The first pair drink and once finished place their cup on the edge of the table and try to flip it so it lands the other way.
Only when its flipped can the next person on your team start ....
& its the first team to finish who wins.

Its safe to say this got very loud!
Apparently our camping neighbours didn't appreciate this so asked us to dial it down.
Just as this rule was put into place the girls won their first round.
*Screams* YESSSSSSSS ........ Ssshhhh!!!
Followed by silent celebrations.
It was harder to contain our excitement when we won than actually playing the game!
It was a tense game, neck and neck but the boys just piped us to the post with a 10 - 7 final score.
Next time!

By this point I was most definitely smashed.
& thank god it was just time for dinner.
Adrian had cooked up the juiciest and most delicious steak for us!
It was divine.
Back to drinking & we move onto our next game; Kings Cup.
International drinking rules apply so no names.
I was automatically Lady Jane and here is when Alan became Steve.

Now everyone is familiar with the 'ALAN. ALAN. ALAN, ALAN' video of the shouting critter.
& then he goes "Oh no wait thats Steve. STEVE. STEVE. STEVE.'
So it only seemed right to rename Alan, Steve.
It kinda stuck after the game though and when referring to Steve the rest of the group were like
"Who the fuck is Steve??"
"Alan"
"What?!"

We never actually finished the game because it was time for our final campfire and eating smores.
Maho was already on her 2nd as we headed over to join in.
I find a chair, turn to sit down and BAM, ass to the floor!
Im not that drunk am i??
No. Somebody *cough* Steve, thought it'd be hilarious to pull my chair away!
Sneaky. Turns out Steve is quite the prankster!

You'd think after 3 weeks of being with the group you'd have found out all the important things about everyone.
But tonight it all came out.
For Colin.
He'd been keeping a secret from us.
A deep, dark secret that I'm 100% certain he wishes he'd never revealed.
He had etiquette lessons. 
Well this was the perfect leverage to abuse him with.
Me, Sarah & Em, all very drunk, just lay into him.
He was now PoshSpice
& then Sarah mentions that she'd never heard him swear because he's posh.
Well it was goodbye to PoshSpice and out came tourettes Colin.
"I bloody do fucking swear"
"Thats the first time i've heard you swear"
"No its fucking not, I fucking swear all the fucking time, this is bullshit. You clearly haven't spent that much fucking time with me"
Crying.
Oh Posh Spice. Any matches yet?

Its safe to say it was a very drunken enjoyable evening.
Kayla & Adrian did some speeches about how awesome we are and I don't really remember much after that tbh. I had a lot to drink!
We dried up all the alcohol and by the end of the evening I was on duty to put the fire out because we were the last ones up (again) and I felt that the best way to put it out was with a hammer.
It worked. Kinda.
A massive struggle to get into the tent.
I was extremely drunk if you hadn't already gathered.
& it says in my book that it was 4:20am
I think thats a lie.

LOL!
Just had an update from Emily
4:20 is not the time we went to bed.
It is a reference Colin should be all too familiar with.
Its the #1 rule in etiquette lessons:
When you've finished with your food you put your cutlery at 4:20 so the waiter knows you've finished.
Any other time and they shouldn't take it away.
We obviously took the piss and when we finished we left our cutlery at all sorts of erratic times.
4:40, 2:30, 6:15
Colin was not pleased. 

   
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